Some poetry from English class 9b ...

Here are some exercises my ninth graders did in class. They weren't supposed to be poetry. We were practicing first conditional, and they were supposed to write straight sentences. I wrote the first part (the if up to the ellipsis) and asked each student to finish the statement with good grammer and then pass it on for the next person to finish the sentence in their own way. Their poor understanding, grammar, and possibly some psychological problems made for really morbidly funny reading afterwards. I fixed some spelling but otherwise left the grammar and capitalization alone. Each new line represents new handwriting - on the sheets they all ran into one another.

If you don't need any help
I'm going to school. And will be standing.
I'm going to the cinema.
I will be going to walking.
then you don't cry.
I help my friend
I'm do homework
I

If you scream and shout...
because I afraid dark.
I won't didn't like being only. Because I felt very bad
to hurt my ears.
You throat will be ill.

If you don't finish your dinner...
you dont go for a walk you dont watch tv and I kill you
you crazy
you don't go to the cinema
you finish your dinner now!

If you are cruel to animals...
I want to kill they
then eat them.
On supper
I don't have animals
and I go to the zoo, then I kill animal.
I will trust all people and animal.

If you forget someone's name...
writer
you will be ask him,
I writes him name in diary
And never forget his name now.
I must said him Mr or her Mrs

If you trust everyone...
I won't believe you.
I will be to you unfriendly. I should say sorry.
I hurt myself
You will be crazy. You don't people.

If you don't know what you want...
I want to know it
I don't know
I will be ask friends
You will be nothings want.
I go to the cinema.
I spent my free time with my friends.

If you teach a man to fish...
I will be
have a thing that catching fish
give him good advice.
You have dinner you must to run away
you can drown

If you are kind to your parents...
I will be helping.
and I will be kinding
I will be do work about the house
do them present
I will be go with my girlfriend.
I can go for long time
I can will be very kinding

If you rock n' roll all night long...
I will be deaf
My father kill me.
My parents yell will not buy clothes
I want to sleep all (every) day
My mother kill me

If you excercise every day...
you can go to swimming pool.
you can to play football
you can go away
you can go to the cinema
you will be good sportsman
you can go to the swimming pool.

If you never read books...
you will be foolish
you willn't be rich
you willn't be work
you will be very good girl or boy
you will be like animal
you will be go swimming pool