A Pizza in Almaty
One night, Bob, Bryan, and I went to a restaurant by our apartment to get a bite to eat. After we were done eating we paid, but our change was 100 tenge (about 75 cents) short. Not seeing our waiter anywhere, we asked another waiter if we could get the rest of our change. Who is your waiter, he asked. We don't know, we said. I'll go find him, he said, and went off for a while. After about ten minutes we flagged him down again. Your waiter left, he said, so you can't get your change. Can we talk to the manager, we asked? There is no manager, he said. Let me talk to your boss, I said. I'll go check, he said. After another ten minutes he came back and gave us 100 tenge. In Almaty, he said, 100 tenge is nothing. It is change, he said. We took our money and left.
The next night we went back to the same restaurant, maybe inadvisably, but because it was near our apartment and was the only place that served plov, which Bob and I had a taste for. We sat down and waited for fifteen minutes, but nobody came to our table, and we couldn't flag any waiters down. So we gave up and went down the street to get a pizza from a man making them in a kiosk on the sidewalk. Can we eat the pizzas in the outdoor restaurant, we asked? Yes, he worked for the same restaurant with which we had been having problems, and we could buy a pizza and eat it there. How much are the pizzas, we asked. It depends on what you get on them, he said. What if we get sauce, cheese, and meat on it, we asked. I don't know, he said, and called to a waitress who was entering something on her computer next to him. How much is a pizza, he asked. She frowned and didn't answer. Hey, how much is a pizza, he asked. She ignored him again. Could I have a menu, he asked. And she turned around and walked away.
Here we explored other food options, but Bob decided pizza was the way to go. So we went back to the pizza guy. Can we just order from you, we asked? No, I'm not a waiter, you have to order from a waiter, he said. So, stepping in front of a passing waiter, got him to stop for us. How much is a pizza, we asked. 450 tenge, and you pay first. Ok, we would like one with sauce, meat, and cheese, we said, and at this point, the waiter from the night before staggered up to us, apparently drunk. Came back for more? he asked. It seems that way, we said, and he staggered off.
Bob, at this point fearing that we would pay but never get our pizza, asked for a receipt. Why? asked the waiter. We're on a business trip and we need our receipts, we said. I will give you a receipt for something else, he said. How much money do you want on it? We just want the pizza receipt, we said. I cannot do that, he said. Let me make it for 2000 tenge. We really just want a pizza receipt, we said. Impossible, he said. Tell me how much you want a receipt for, and I'll do it. How about the price of the pizza, we said. Impossible, he said, I will make it for 1000 tenge, and he took our money and walked away.
We waited for five minutes, during which time the pizza guy looked at his shoes. And sure enough, our waiter returned with a receipt for five shashliks and a beer for over 1000 tenge. Thank you, we said, and he walked away. Wait, we called, aren't you going to order our pizza? (We were standing next to the pizza guy the whole time.) Oh, right, he said, and said to the pizza guy, they ordered a pizza with fish and mushrooms. No, we ordered a pizza with meat and cheese. Oh, he said, and said to the pizza guy, make them a pizza with meat and cheese, you hear? And the pizza guys stopped staring at his shoes and started to make the pizza.
We got the pizza about ten minutes later, and agreed that it was the last thing we would buy there.
The next night we went back to the same restaurant, maybe inadvisably, but because it was near our apartment and was the only place that served plov, which Bob and I had a taste for. We sat down and waited for fifteen minutes, but nobody came to our table, and we couldn't flag any waiters down. So we gave up and went down the street to get a pizza from a man making them in a kiosk on the sidewalk. Can we eat the pizzas in the outdoor restaurant, we asked? Yes, he worked for the same restaurant with which we had been having problems, and we could buy a pizza and eat it there. How much are the pizzas, we asked. It depends on what you get on them, he said. What if we get sauce, cheese, and meat on it, we asked. I don't know, he said, and called to a waitress who was entering something on her computer next to him. How much is a pizza, he asked. She frowned and didn't answer. Hey, how much is a pizza, he asked. She ignored him again. Could I have a menu, he asked. And she turned around and walked away.
Here we explored other food options, but Bob decided pizza was the way to go. So we went back to the pizza guy. Can we just order from you, we asked? No, I'm not a waiter, you have to order from a waiter, he said. So, stepping in front of a passing waiter, got him to stop for us. How much is a pizza, we asked. 450 tenge, and you pay first. Ok, we would like one with sauce, meat, and cheese, we said, and at this point, the waiter from the night before staggered up to us, apparently drunk. Came back for more? he asked. It seems that way, we said, and he staggered off.
Bob, at this point fearing that we would pay but never get our pizza, asked for a receipt. Why? asked the waiter. We're on a business trip and we need our receipts, we said. I will give you a receipt for something else, he said. How much money do you want on it? We just want the pizza receipt, we said. I cannot do that, he said. Let me make it for 2000 tenge. We really just want a pizza receipt, we said. Impossible, he said. Tell me how much you want a receipt for, and I'll do it. How about the price of the pizza, we said. Impossible, he said, I will make it for 1000 tenge, and he took our money and walked away.
We waited for five minutes, during which time the pizza guy looked at his shoes. And sure enough, our waiter returned with a receipt for five shashliks and a beer for over 1000 tenge. Thank you, we said, and he walked away. Wait, we called, aren't you going to order our pizza? (We were standing next to the pizza guy the whole time.) Oh, right, he said, and said to the pizza guy, they ordered a pizza with fish and mushrooms. No, we ordered a pizza with meat and cheese. Oh, he said, and said to the pizza guy, make them a pizza with meat and cheese, you hear? And the pizza guys stopped staring at his shoes and started to make the pizza.
We got the pizza about ten minutes later, and agreed that it was the last thing we would buy there.
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